The Sacred Four...

I have to say I can go with this one...

The Ghetto Porch Experiment...

Which I've been told is a scary phrase...

Anyway the GS and I decided to try and create a cheap screen porch around the back. We have one that's covered, and it wouldnt be that hard to actually screen it in if we had the tools and equipment to do it. But we don't, nor do we actually have the money to afford wood and the equipment to do it. And most everyone that does construction work has quoted us about 2grand to actually put up the porch. So we decided to try and do it ourselves with screen and the fix-it-all of the south...duct tape.

Theoretically it works, we hung sheets of screen attached to the overhang with ducttape and overlapping each other (the plan was to sew em together with fishing line) to keep bugs out. It worked great the first night, that's when we discovered that duct tape doesnt stick to screen. I'm not sure why since it sticks to everything else unto the sun, but not screen. We continue undaunted though, next thing I'm going to try is velcro...either that or sewing the damn screen to the duct tape. God I feel so trailor trashy...

Spent the last Monday running bug-bug to the doctor. She has pleurisy, which I didn't even think still existed. Of course the only experience with it I've heard of was in the Cheaper by the Dozen books. And he used the Quinine Remedy. I've thought about trying it with her, because there's nothing like Quinine and Castor oil to make you forget that something hurts.

We had a girl day, which means that we all had homemade pedicures, and manicures for the girls. Grydork wanted to scare her friends by reminding them she is female (it worked, one of them asked who the new girl was /grin) so we broke out all the fun stuff. Well fun for most of them, cause I conned the GS into getting a pedicure...no we didn't paint his toes or anything, though the kids were trying hard. The GS has really really dry feet, so I stuck him in the soaker and slathered him up. It was a Queer Eye moment to be sure. Did a french manicure on Grydork, and blue toenails, and tried to do acrylics on Bug. They came out okay, but I am definately not that good at them, I'll have to practice a lot more to get them right. Or ask mom.

The other disaster of girl day was that I accidentally shaved off half of Bugs eyebrow. Not on purpose, and I blame shitty cutters. It's not bald, just very very short and thin. Yes mother has questioned my sanity about why I did it. And she yelled, which makes the Bug feel better.

And lastly but not leastly, we have been having HORRIBLE internet woes. Slower than molassis in January it's been (tested this morning and it was a 237 download speed, yes I know we might as well have dial up). We recently bundled our phone service with our cable and internet, and the first night was wonderful. We had a cable outage and since then it's been the suck.

So we call yesterday and find that there's a global area issue, and they'll get someone to work on it. The cable company is really good at doing stuff, so when it sucked this morning we called again. The guy asked if we had done a power recycle on the modem...to which the Geeky Spouse wearing Grumpy Pants* was like no, we did a reset. The cable guy said he'd send out a tech to check stuff out beacause even if it's noisy there shouldn't have been that bad. So after the phone call I did what he had said and whola! speed back to where it's supposed to be. Apparently the new modem has a battery backup so if your power goes out you still have phone service for emergencies. You have to take that out too to really reset your modem after a hickey.

*Spouse wearing Grumpy Pants comes when he believes we have gotten a level 1 tech that thinks we are stupid...which in this case was correct.

Hey Capt and Princess...I got a nickname now!!

I have been dubbed The Puppetmaster...which totally cracks me up. Of course theres also this weird mental picture of me surrouned by evil looking marionettes while I concoct potions using thier strings. Directing them into a small army to cut the ankles of unsuspecting foes. Hiding them in dark corners as my villanous spies...wasn't there some horrid movie by that name? Who knows, but I must begin assembling my mutant army now.

On other interesting news, I can now crack my collarbone...only on the side where I hurt my arm...somehow I don't think this is normal.

And because I'm typing this before my first cup of coffee...I have a cup that says "Wench: serving since the 11th century" and another cup called "Knight: the other white meat". So this morning in his brain fog the Geeky Spouse took the wench cup. And proceeded to start calling for his bodice, when I pointed it out to him. Now I have to clean the coffee off my monitor.

A little something for everyone...

So I was reading news of the weird for this week and found this place...(content unsafe for work or minors) . Its a christian adult toy store for married couples...

Of course there was also this guy...

Joshua Shores, 34, a Subway restaurant employee in North Platte, Neb., who was allegedly caught on surveillance video pocketing the $502 he was supposed to drop into the restaurant's safe, tried to tell police and a judge in August not to worry, that he is not a thief but an undercover CIA operative and that the agency would reimburse the money. (He had lost his CIA badge, he said, which is why he was working at the Subway, waiting for the agency to send him a new one.) [North Platte Bulletin, 8-11-06]

Which boggles the mind in a completely different way...

Whee good drugs...and finding neat things

So I made it to the doctor...and got some really really good drugs. And a steroid shot. The kids think that I am going to start growing into Arnie, but I think I finally have them convinced that that isn't going to happen. Apparently I waited long enough for the shoulder damage to start moving around my body from the head to the elbow, so she gave me a good painkiller and an anti-inflammitory to take everything back down to size. In other related news Grydork is on an antibiotic for ANOTHER spider bite. I swear if she calls them to her body. This one got infected because she threw a fit about me lancing it. So now she will throw no more fits, because she understands the alternative. (big honking horse pills)

I have corrupted someone else into the blogging world. The Republican started one up when I sent him mine. Of course he's running for president...sorta lol. This guy has been my best friend since I was 15 or so. Its rather interesting because he is sooooo far to the right, and most of everyone who knows me realizes I'm more middle left on a political standpoint. It's basically a miracle we haven't argued each other to death /grin.

Capt Cautious called today for the daily medical update, and to ensure that the Geeky Spouse isn't after his blood. I have assured him that all is well. Talked to Princess for a bit, which was fun until Mom called trying to figure out when she's coming to visit.

Tonight was an interesting night for finding things that I've looked for a long time. At Christmas when we were visiting the spouses family in Tulsa, the kids found a game called Mall Madness. I told them we could get it when we got back to 'Bama, but lo and behold no game. I found it tonight after 9 months of looking for it. AND I got my firepit!! I found a lovely lovely firebowl on sale at the local Red-Bullseye store back a few months ago, and it was a bit expensive to aquire without consulting the other half. And he wasn't hearing the phone. The next day I go back and you guessed it, its gone. I had the guys searching the back for one, with no luck. I checked the website and almost croaked at the "normal" price for it. So tonight on a whim we decide to go to the Bullseye store and they have it...and its on clearance. So I now have a beautiful copper firebowl in the back...I can't wait to burn something....

Banned Book week coming up....

Strangely this is one of my favorite weeks of the year, mostly because I have a strange sense of humor and justice. I make it my mission to read as many banned books as I can that interest me that make the list.

Normally I don't know this far in advance when the banned week is coming (Its Sept 23rd to 30th this year), because I read the Harry Potter books, and they almost always make the list. Not so much anymore, but they are still banned or challenged in a lot of school districts.

It came to my attention this year because yesterday Gryffindork came home with a question from her teacher...Do we as parents have a problem with them reading the book "The Giver" by Lois Lowry? Being me that means of course I have to figure out why she would be asking. From my research I found out that "The Giver" is set is a futuristic utopian society where there is no racism, pain, war, crime or competition. Sounds like fun eh? Of course there is also no joy, color, sex or choice. I think the last one is the one that makes people want to ban this book. The concept of giving our children the freedom to make choices that affect them is completely against the "do as I say, not as I do" culture that defines the United States.

Of course in my research I found a lot of strange things that made me realize I really got to read the news more often. Like one of our representitives here in 'Bama wanted to remove from our school libraries, anything that was written by or included homosexual themes (including Shakespeare). After some fussing he removed the "classics" from the proposed ban, but never really defined what a classic was. Leaving room open of course for him to loophole in anything he felt followed his beliefs. In our currently flawed governmental system, the populace of the nation has been convinced that we as parents are no longer responsible for our children, we have elected individuals that are to take care of that pesky problem for us. They are the ones who are trying to make choices about whether or not MY child should be able to read "The Color Purple" or Oscar Wilde or Tennessee Williams or Harper Lee or Mark Twain or anything else that could possibly harm thier belief that opening thier minds and understanding that people are different, and that's not a bad thing.

I relish allowing my kids to read banned books, I enjoy (while I still have the option) allowing them to open thier minds to new worlds and new ideas and new ways of life. As a matter of fact I think I'm going to assign some required reading for that week. "Whale Talk" by Chris Crutcher is currently banned from the school district that the kids attend. It has bad language, well gee I know my kids are intelligent enough to know that cursing in school is not something they are allowed to do, and I somehow think that reading cuss words isn't going to change that fact.

Of course I'll probably read it too :)

No doctor for joo!

So the doc can't see me until Thursday...the shoulder is a little better than it was so I suppose as long as I don't use it, it'll be okay...

The Geeky Spouse is quite annoyed.

Shuffle off to Buffalo...

Well its more like I already shuffled off and came back but hey it was a catchy title name :)

Went to Buffalo last week to repay a debt to Da' Player...who now has a new nickname...Captain Cautious, coined by his lovely girlfriend Princess Paranoid. Yep she coined that one too. I joked that between the two of them they have every possible neurosis and worry covered.

A while back “the person formally known as Da’ Player” (/grin) came to Florida with me to help me move stuff for Bug Bug when she came to live here. Not to mention all the stuff my mom passed down to me. So the time came to help him move his lovely lady from Buffalo to Nowheresville, Alabama. We took a week so that we could do some packing and have some time for touristy stuff as the Princess broke her ankle about a month ago. So not fun for trying to move when your mode of transportation is a computer chair.

It was a fun week, met a lot of nice people who I have been working on making nicknames for lol. There’s now King of the World, (who I had met before as he lives somewhere outside of the MiddleofNowhere, AL) and looks a lot like Ron Weasley all grown up. When we went to Niagara Falls we took a boat trip to the falls and he said that over and over and over and over. It was a bit like that line in Spiderman about power and responsibility. But it was fun. The falls are beautiful and romantic and the Geeky Spouse was all the way back here playing Mr. Mom with the kids, so that was the only downer about it.

We also met some of Princess’s friends that before we only knew online. There is the lovely SCA Goddess, who knows more about medieval times than I ever learned and is a bouncing ball of energy. And her spouse who is very quiet and shy and is now going to be Flippy because he introduced me to the joy and disgust that is Happy Tree Friends. Check it out just don’t eat first J

The trip back was a blast because we all had walkie talkies and were faking our way into CB talk. For some reason KotW became Rubber Ducky on the CB, but they wouldn’t let me have the nickname of Bitch…probably because to many people would answer to it.

Going to the doctor tomorrow since I think I tore the rotator cup in my shoulder during the packing the boxes/truck stage. The GS has now decided that my high pain tolerance isn’t such a good thing as it’s been a week since we got back and I’ve been balking about going. I think he will bodily throw me in the car and drag me to the office if I don’t call and go in to get it fixed.