The Game is Afoot...
So the Geeky Spouse has finally battened down to start a pencil and paper game. The threats of being "cut off" never worked, but I found the opposite to work really really well :) So now that I'm in the gaming mood for some tabletop stuff, I wandered over to the Palladium forums to just look around...oh there is just about the funniest thing in the GM forum "The worst players ever"...here are some of the gems...
PC: "I pick up the gnome and wield him like a mace."
GM: "I am not giving your any bonuses from W.P. Blunt... nice try though."
PC: "How about from W.P. Innocent Bystander?"
Quote - "I don't care what you planned for the plot, I'm only going to do the stuff I planned for my character." (TWICE! to the same GM, and once to the other....)
"I read the list of restrictions, but decided to break some of them. You'll see why."
"Never chipped in for the pizza". Now thats grounds for a kick out of the house
He's not a good roleplayer, he keeps wanting to do everything like anime characters in movies do, and he actually uses sound effects - graphic ones, very specificly delineated - when describing what his PC is doing.
if you shoot up a gang member in front of his notorious gangs equally notorious hang out at 11:30pm on Friday night with a half a drum of .50 cal machine gun ammo then put your guns away only to walk into the same bar to have a beer. you see what i'm saying here? dumb is dumb.
one person i gamed with would basically sleep until combat starts then wake up long enough to fight then go back to sleep
Actually, the worst player I've ver seen was also a GM...but his NPC play was the WORST.
First off, every freakin' character we ran into ended up being...a GASP!....demon. OK, it was a shocker the first time, but a few weeks into it, we were all like "Demon, yeah gotcha--not kindly old shoemaker...demon...yep".
Not only this, but his characters were so skewed towards what he wanted, it was ridiculous.
An average encounter would go something like this:
PC: Excuse me, I'm trying to get as far away from here as possible. I notice there are over 200 ships in this harbor. May I book passage on one?
NPC: Er....it costs 10,000 Mithril...one-way
PC: (counting) 9,999, and 10,000. Here you go.
NPC: Er...there's a curse on these boats.
PC: That's fine. I'm an atheist.
NPC: I'M A DEMON! ROAAAAARRRRR!
And so it went on.
Also, every single one of his NPCs were lifted directly from a Terry Goodkind or Ann Rice novel.....and the ones that weren't were all level 50 alchemists/wizards...disguised dark elven alchemist/wizards....immune to whatever we had handy.
there was a guy who showed up fairly often who cheated at his die rolls... very very stupidly. he would roll the dice right there in front of everyone and if he didn't get what he needed, he would pick them up and roll again and again until he got a good roll.
Named his character "Big Head."
Repeatedly tried to have his character buy weed.
He read out the names of his weapons...every time he used one. ("Alright, I am going to fire with my Northern Gun NG-p7 particle beam rifle.")
Repeatedly executed or attempted to execute a body slam, at least 3 times a battle.
Never learned what a D20 was. Actually picked up a D4 once, three hours into the session and stated: "Roll strike? I use this one right?"
"So you all wake up.... cept Bob" *all the players look over at Bob, yes he's alive, turns back to the GM with that dumb look*O.o
And the moral of the story is?
Don't get drunk, kcuf a goddess and expect her hubby not to kill you in your sleep...
I have a button I use to wear sometimes when I ran games.
It says, 'If I want your opinion, I'll read your entrails.'
PC: "I pick up the gnome and wield him like a mace."
GM: "I am not giving your any bonuses from W.P. Blunt... nice try though."
PC: "How about from W.P. Innocent Bystander?"
Quote - "I don't care what you planned for the plot, I'm only going to do the stuff I planned for my character." (TWICE! to the same GM, and once to the other....)
"I read the list of restrictions, but decided to break some of them. You'll see why."
"Never chipped in for the pizza". Now thats grounds for a kick out of the house
He's not a good roleplayer, he keeps wanting to do everything like anime characters in movies do, and he actually uses sound effects - graphic ones, very specificly delineated - when describing what his PC is doing.
if you shoot up a gang member in front of his notorious gangs equally notorious hang out at 11:30pm on Friday night with a half a drum of .50 cal machine gun ammo then put your guns away only to walk into the same bar to have a beer. you see what i'm saying here? dumb is dumb.
one person i gamed with would basically sleep until combat starts then wake up long enough to fight then go back to sleep
Actually, the worst player I've ver seen was also a GM...but his NPC play was the WORST.
First off, every freakin' character we ran into ended up being...a GASP!....demon. OK, it was a shocker the first time, but a few weeks into it, we were all like "Demon, yeah gotcha--not kindly old shoemaker...demon...yep".
Not only this, but his characters were so skewed towards what he wanted, it was ridiculous.
An average encounter would go something like this:
PC: Excuse me, I'm trying to get as far away from here as possible. I notice there are over 200 ships in this harbor. May I book passage on one?
NPC: Er....it costs 10,000 Mithril...one-way
PC: (counting) 9,999, and 10,000. Here you go.
NPC: Er...there's a curse on these boats.
PC: That's fine. I'm an atheist.
NPC: I'M A DEMON! ROAAAAARRRRR!
And so it went on.
Also, every single one of his NPCs were lifted directly from a Terry Goodkind or Ann Rice novel.....and the ones that weren't were all level 50 alchemists/wizards...disguised dark elven alchemist/wizards....immune to whatever we had handy.
there was a guy who showed up fairly often who cheated at his die rolls... very very stupidly. he would roll the dice right there in front of everyone and if he didn't get what he needed, he would pick them up and roll again and again until he got a good roll.
Named his character "Big Head."
Repeatedly tried to have his character buy weed.
He read out the names of his weapons...every time he used one. ("Alright, I am going to fire with my Northern Gun NG-p7 particle beam rifle.")
Repeatedly executed or attempted to execute a body slam, at least 3 times a battle.
Never learned what a D20 was. Actually picked up a D4 once, three hours into the session and stated: "Roll strike? I use this one right?"
"So you all wake up.... cept Bob" *all the players look over at Bob, yes he's alive, turns back to the GM with that dumb look*O.o
And the moral of the story is?
Don't get drunk, kcuf a goddess and expect her hubby not to kill you in your sleep...
I have a button I use to wear sometimes when I ran games.
It says, 'If I want your opinion, I'll read your entrails.'
posted by Kendi at 8:03 AM
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